What to say to someone who is living with anxiety

Anxiety has become a very common word in today's society, and many people will experience anxious feelings at some point in their lives.

Anxiety can feel similar to the nerves before a job interview or an important meeting: a fear of the unknown, a racing mind or a sense that something is about to happen. Feeling anxious from time to time is a normal human emotion, but for some people anxiety can become overwhelming and begin to disrupt everyday life.

The NHS has helpful information about anxiety, including when anxiety may become more persistent. Mind also explains more about understanding anxiety and the different ways it can affect people.

What anxiety can feel like

Someone may not always appear to be struggling, but inside they may feel as though their mind and body have gone into fight or flight mode. Their heart might beat quickly, their breathing may change and it can become difficult to focus on one clear thought.

Living with anxiety can feel extremely overwhelming. If someone you care about is anxious, a card or thoughtful message will not fix everything, but it can remind them that they are not alone.

What to write in a card for someone with anxiety

If you want to reach out to someone with anxiety, here are some gentle ideas for what to say in a card.

• “Next time you need to head out, let me know and I can come with you. If I am too far away, I can call or FaceTime while you go.”
  This offers practical support with tasks they may find daunting.
• “Your anxiety does not define you. I understand it is something you are dealing with, and I will always be patient with you.”
  This reminds them they are much more than their anxiety, while showing that you are not rushing them.
• “Your fears, worries and triggers are valid. If things feel overwhelming, try grounding yourself by naming three things you can see, three things you can hear and three parts of your body you can gently move.”
  A simple grounding idea can be helpful, but keep it gentle and avoid sounding as though you are giving medical advice.
• “You are loved. If I am ever not nearby and you need comfort, try returning to something that helps you feel steady, whether that is a familiar programme, favourite music, a calming place or a short walk.”
  Many people have small routines or comforts that help them feel more grounded.
• “I am proud of you for getting through difficult days, even when nobody else can see how hard they are.”
  Positive reassurance can help someone feel seen and valued.
• “I am always here for you. I may not always know exactly what to say, but I will listen without judgement.”
  A calm, listening presence can mean a great deal.

Small thoughtful extras to include

A card can feel even more personal when it includes a small reminder of comfort, love or shared memories.

• Enclose a printed photo of a person, pet or place you know they love.
• Write down a favourite memory you share with them.
• Make a short list of things they are good at, such as being kind, funny, thoughtful, creative or brave.
• Remind them of something they have handled well, especially if they often doubt themselves.
• Choose a calm, kind card from our thinking of you cards collection.

When someone may need more support

A card can be a lovely way to show you care, but it is not a replacement for professional help. If someone is struggling, encourage them to speak to their GP, contact a trusted mental health service or reach out to a qualified professional.

You can find further mental health advice from professional bodies such as Cornwall Mind. If someone needs urgent help or may be at risk, contact emergency services or a medical professional straight away.

Disclaimer: This blog is a guide for message ideas and is not written by a doctor or medical professional. If you or someone you know needs urgent assistance, please contact a qualified medical professional or emergency service.